|
“The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to
listen, to talk, to have a conversation - or a relationship.” - Deborah
Tannen Ph.D What is couples therapy? Couples
therapy is an experience that can be empowering to all relationships. Couples therapy works to create a space in which new
possibilities become available to transform relationship struggles into a renewed commitment to personal growth and transformation.
Some of the common struggles presented in couple’s therapy include; •
Feeling unheard and unsupported by ones partner; • Ceasing to be curious about one another;
• Feeling that the relationship has lost it’s passion and spontaneity; • Feeling
“bored” in the relationship; • Not knowing how to allow oneself to be loved and cared
for; • Avoiding dealing with resentments; • Struggles with “communication”;
• Unproductive models of relationship that advocate “emotional fusion” and the submersion of
the self in intimate relationships; • Not feeling desired or desire for your partner;
• Low or no sexual desire; • Infidelity and affairs What
can I expect in couples therapy? Couples therapy requires a commitment to work on your
relationship and a willingness to risk intimacy and growth that, at times, can be quite uncomfortable. Couples therapy requires
that both partners be willing to look at what they have contributed to the relationship, own what is theirs, and be willing
to discontinue unproductive behaviors while learning how to be “grown ups” with one another.
Couples therapy will always be tailored to the needs of the couple that enters the office – there is no “one
size fits all” approach to therapt. However, you can expect the following events to occur in treatment; - A
respectful and supportive environment in which you, your partner and your relationship will be honored;
- Exploring
new ways to be in relationship with one another that do not hold you, or your partner, hostage to anxiety, fear and control;
- Developing
new tools and skills that support personal and relationship integrity, honesty and intimacy;
- Developing a personal
voice in your relationship that does not require your partners approval or validation;
- Trusting your self, and your
partner, to share the best of who you are with one another.
Book Recommendations:
John Gottman and Nan Silver. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from The Countries
Foremost Relationship Expert. New York. Random House, Inc. David Schnarch.
(1997). Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships. New York: W.W. Norton & Company,
Inc.
Esther Perel. (2006). Mating in Captivity: Reconciling The Erotic and
The Domestic. New York: Harper Collins Publishers.
|
